April 2022
We’ve all been on a plane listening with one ear to the safety instructions while scrambling to store our belongings before takeoff. The announcement that always gets me is: “Make sure to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.” It tends to hit home because I’ve often neglected my own needs in order to care for others. I think when you are focused on your profession, or caregiving a loved one, it is easy to get lost in what others need. Pretty soon you start to realize that you’ve forgotten to eat…go to the bathroom…pay a bill…the list could go on. Making your needs non-negotiable is not always easy, but it is necessary to maintain your own health and energy. I have been there and am here to tell you that it is possible to break out of this cycle! Here are just a few ways to start making yourself non-negotiable that you can try TODAY!
First, what brings you joy? WRITE THOSE THINGS ON YOUR CALENDAR. Put them down for every single day. For me, it’s prayer and movement. And nothing else happens until I have talked to God and taken a nice long walk. Because I have the most energy and am the most productive in the mornings, I get up very early at 4am. It is quiet, and I take time to pray while drinking some water to hydrate for my walk. Then I am out the door and walking for 45 minutes to an hour. While walking I listen to podcasts that I enjoy or some music that energizes me. This morning routine sets the tone for the day and makes me feel like I can handle anything that comes my way. These bits of joy come first, before anything or anyone else.
Next, what do you need to do today to secure your own life? SCHEDULE AN HOUR TO ATTEND TO YOUR IMPORTANT NEEDS OR TASKS. Do you need to pay some bills? Schedule appointments for yourself? Get groceries? Catch up with a friend? Block out an hour to do some of these things. Prioritize them so if the hour runs up you can pick the list back up tomorrow. Consider making some changes to how you handle these tasks to make your life easier. Schedule your bills to be paid automatically or through your bank bill paying service. Order groceries to be delivered or picked up on your way home. There are so many ways to make life easier. Explore them and start to implement them!
Finally, communicate your needs. TALK TO PEOPLE AND ASK FOR HELP. This one is still hard for me. I always kind of figured that people must know I need help because they know I am balancing caregiving, work, and my own life. No. People do not know what you need until you communicate it to them. So, talk to your boss. Talk to your friends. Talk to your spouse, kids, and other family members. Sometimes just the act of speaking what is stressing us out is enough to take the pressure off just a little. Enough for conversations to develop and decisions and solutions to be made.
This all sounds easy until you try to do it. I am not promising easy. But I am promising a less stressed, rejuvenated, even better you if you will just take even ONE of these steps today. Choose a step that feels possible in this moment and do it. The others will fall in line once you take the first little action. Put your oxygen mask on first. It doesn’t make you selfish to do so. It makes you responsible- responsible for taking care of YOU so you can be more present to the people you love.
